(roots)

this poem first appeared in Belleville Park Pages (33)

 

(roots)

this morning’s too grey concrete
taste stale &heavy full of air

growing roots &accustomed become a soft barricade
such a delicate anchor in my chair soothed &perished.

i extinguish so easily anything that comes alight
the sun just a tax disc just a thing holding up a sky

holding up my night. remember the time
i bounced outta this body fleetingly

didn’t even matter that i hit the wall full force
and not through it like in the films because i bruise

so gently like blossom breaking open
like the flip side of a tattoo

though you never forgave the purple snakes of my arms
the sudden scales: the cold return to bones.

i know you couldn’t care less that i stopped being brilliant.
if i’m not an artist as long as i stop looking so goddamn hungry

&don’t sing the ache too deep. that a frightened
look in your eye? never knew how to keep the peace

oh yes we’ve been here before. you’re running ahead to be the GoodGuy
to settle my black eyed demons. you total Parent!

help me turn on my side. help me sink. what’s the difference if i hiss &spit
as long as i’ll sigh and forever love

you as long as I still have thighs to part. my heart
is a giggling thing, a moron

housing a vicious blackbird. in the picture/the X ray
it showed up as a yellow stone &now you call me peach

and think so cute but really i am rotten the worm
is so strong sucking. close the curtains. i’m a practising virgin